CJ and the boys decide to expand their group, but making new friends throws each of them into unexpected situations.
CJ, Fenwick, and Crispo all decide to make a new friend because Fenwick and Crispo can't help CJ with her girl talk. CJ and Fenwick have difficulty with this particular challenge, but Crispo is faced with many students who would like to be his friend. While Crispo is choosing, Lightning Licano runs by the group, followed by Paul Schmolitor, who is trying to stop him. Paul manages to recruit Crispo to help catch Licano by offering him a hall monitor sash.
At lunch, Fenwick asks Lunch Lady Natasha for a center slice of pizza. She gives him a corner piece instead, saying wherever she starts cutting the pizza is the slice he will be given. He meets up with CJ and Crispo at a lunch table, and they talk about their new friend search. CJ is stating her trouble with finding a new friend when a student approaches their table, smiles at them, then leaves to sit at a lunch table by herself. CJ decides to make the girl her new friend, but Fenwick and Crispo are averse to the idea because she is a new student.
CJ learns the new student's name is Zelphaba, and they talk. CJ also learns Zelphaba is from Salem, Massachusetts, which she says is "where the witches come from." CJ starts to become suspicious after Zelphaba casts a spell and then again after she sees the inside of Zelphaba's lunch box is green and emits smoke.
After lunch, Crispo and Paul try to sneak up on Licano, but fail to catch him. Crispo gets the idea to use the Pootatuck Hallway Patrol budget to buy scooters in order to become fast enough to catch Licano. Fenwick uses the school computer lab to look up steps on making a new friend. While he is reading, Lunch Lady Natasha, who is also using the lab, is clearly agitated and keeps disrupting him. He finally asks her if she needs any assistance and then helps her study to get her driver's license.
CJ gives Zelphaba a friend test from her magazine and sees that they have many things in common. After CJ notes that Zelphaba has a broom in her locker, sees her cast a spell on Mindy, and close her locker door without using her hands, she thinks Zelphaba is a witch. She voices her thoughts to Fenwick and Crispo, who loudly repeat her and a rumor quickly spreads. Zelphaba is soon confronted with students claiming she is a witch.
The next day, CJ tries to find Zelphaba and apologize for starting the witch rumor, but she learns from Mr. Roberts that she withdrew in favor of homeschooling. Fenwick continues helping Lunch Lady Natasha with getting her license, and though they are both confident that she will pass the written portion of the test, she tells him she doesn't know how to drive. In order to help her, he gets a driving game video simulator for her to practice. Crispo and Paul catch up to Licano on their scooters, but they learn the scooters don't move as fast as Licano can run. They decide once again to use the budget and buy a golf cart.
CJ sees Zelphaba sitting outside of the school and runs to apologize to her. Zelphaba explains all of the strange incidents that caused CJ to think she was a witch and accepts her apology. When she learns that Zelphaba's parents are magicians, CJ comes up with a plan to get the witch rumor to stop so Zelphaba can re-enroll at Pootatuck.
Mr. Roberts is looking over the expense reports of the clubs when he notices that Pootatuck Hallway Safety went over their budget. He hears a commotion in the hallway, which turns out to be Crispo and Paul using the golf cart they bought to chase after Licano. They crash the cart, and Licano gets away. After making sure the two are okay, Mr. Roberts tells them to return all of the items and suspends them from the patrol, causing Paul to be livid with Crispo.
At the Motor Vehicle Services, Fenwick looks on as Lunch Lady Natasha takes her driver's test. Using her knowledge from the video game, she drives erratically, but follows the instructor's rules. Fenwick is unsure that Natasha passed, but the instructor tells him it was some of the best driving he had seen and passes her.
The next day, CJ and Zelphaba argue in the halls, and Zelphaba makes CJ "disappear." The students start to panic, but CJ reappears and tells them that witches don't exist and explains that Zelphaba's parents are actually magicians.
At lunch, Fenwick thinks he is going to get another corner slice of pizza, but Natasha gives him a large center slice. In the halls, Crispo tries to get a high five from Paul, but Paul ignores him. Mr. Bored tells his class that they are going to have a pop quiz and places them on his desk. The students groan, but when Mr. Bored goes to pass them out, he can't find them, so he cancels the quiz. CJ looks over at Zelphaba in awe, wondering if she had made the quizzes disappear.
- Isabela Moner as CJ Martin
- Jaheem King Toombs as Fenwick Frazier
- Owen Joyner as Crispo Powers
- Jack De Sena as Jack Roberts
- Brady Reiter as Mindy Minus
- Matthew Scott Miller as Paul Schmolitor
- Raajeev Aggerwhil as Mr. Bored
- Debra Christofferson as Lunch Lady Natasha Villavovodovich
- Mackenzie Brooke Smith as Martha St. Reynolds
- Laura Krystine as Lori Loudly
- Piper Keesee as Zelphaba
- Phinehas Yoon as Lightning Licano
- Raymond Morris as MVS Driving Instructor
CJ's voice-over: Middle school: sometimes I like to think it's more than just an institute of learning. Sometimes I like to think of it as a new friend factory. Why? Because I'm a girl whose two best friends are boys. Observe.
CJ: What do you think? Scarf on? Scarf off? Scarf on?
Crispo: We don't know.
Fenwick: Why would you wear a scarf if it's not cold out?
Fenwick: What if I don't want a new friend? Then I'm gonna have to text new friend. What does new friend want for his birthday? "What do you mean you don't like books for your birthday, new friend?" How do you even make a new friend?
Crispo: Oh, like this. [loudly] Who wants to be my new friend?
[multiple students crowd around hoping to be picked]
Fenwick: You're despicable.
Natasha: I am trying to pass sample driver test, but I cannot because American driver test too hard! Now I cry. [cries]
Fenwick: Do you want help?
Natasha: What, so I give you center pizza slice when it is not center slice turn?
Fenwick: No, because I've never failed a test in my life.
Natasha: What is secret?
Fenwick: You study. Now, if you're hit by another car on the road, what's the first thing you do?
Natasha: Put curse on other driver's family for thousand winters and take their shoes.
Fenwick: We're gonna get through this.
CJ's voice-over: Okay, the next day at school I had a new new friend mission: find Zelphaba and apologize to her for spreading the witch rumor. And I wasn't gonna leave her locker until the home room bell. [bell rings] And first period bell. [bell rings] And second and third period bell [bell rings] but she never arrived.
Mr. Roberts: Miss Martin, think it's time to get to fourth period.
CJ: Well, I was waiting for Zelphaba, the new girl, to show up.
Mr. Roberts: You'll be waiting a long time, because she started home-school today.
Mr. Roberts: Yeah, her parents are gonna stop by and pick up all her things. I think that witch rumor really rattled her.
CJ: Zelphaba, I am so sorry.
Zelphaba: Why are you sorry? It's all those other kids. And it's nothing I haven't heard before.
CJ: I was the one who spread the rumor you were a witch. It's my fault.
Zelphaba: But I thought we were friends. Why would you call me a witch?
CJ: Well, you're from Salem, you had a glowing lunch box, a broom in your locker, you cast a zit spell on Mindy, and you closed your locker very witch-like.
Zelphaba: Or I told you my parents are weird. My dad loves practical jokes, like the glowing lunch box. And Mom hates it when perfectly good things get thrown out, so yes, yesterday I rescued a broom.
Zelphaba: Mindy's "zit spell" was a joke 'cause she was being mean, but her face is perfect.
CJ: She could use a zit spell.
Zelphaba: And my magic hand didn't close the locker, my foot did. But when your parents are magicians, you pick up every trick and use them without thinking.
CJ: Your parents are magicians.
Zelphaba: Yep, I'm just a normal kid who can make you disappear, cut you in half, and [pulls a fake flower bouquet out of her sleeve and hands them to CJ] accept your apology.
Mr. Roberts: You're both suspended from the force.
Crispo: Well, at least we still have each other, new friend.
Paul: Don't ever talk to me again.
Crispo: Yeah, makes sense.
CJ's voice-over: You never know what you're gonna get from a new friend. Being nice to everyone around you could lead to a friendship with a teacher or a school worker, which could lead to the biggest center slice of pizza ever. But not every shot at a new friendship will work out, so if you don't find a new friend at first, try, try again. And I highly recommend making friends with the new kid.
- This episode was filmed in January 2015.
- Zelphaba's name is a play on the name Elphaba, who is a witch in the Broadway play Wicked.
- The tune that is played while Crispo and Paul Schmolitor are chasing Lightning Licano on the scooter and golf cart is a reference to the theme song of the 1970s TV show CHiPs, which is about motorcycle cops working for the California highway patrol.
- The magazine Pop Tiger is a parody of the magazine Bop and Tiger Beat.
- On the clubs expense report, Bunsen burner is mistakenly spelled as Bunson.
- On the Pootatuck Expense Report, the total for School Security is said (and can be seen on the paper) to be $800, but the sum of all the items on the list is actually $944.
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